There was a
discussion in the office the other day – of the type that occur when budgets
are tight and employees’ thoughts turn to redundancy – about great celebrity
men. In truth, I was poking my nose into a female confab about marrying a rich
guy to escape impending poverty. The usual names emerged: Pitt and Craig, Depp
and Lautner. And Kermit. Oh yes, you read correctly – Kermit – as in the frog. You
can imagine my concern – sharing an office, and oxygen, with someone who has
designs on a Muppet. But it did get me thinking...
Kermit is already
in a relationship. Long-term. And granted, it’s not always been the smoothest
of affairs, but it’s a relationship all the same. And Kermit’s life partner is
a woman of considerable passions. It’s a passionate relationship. A passionate
relationship with a pig. Think about it for a moment gentle reader... a
passionate relationship between a frog and a pig.
OK, it’s research
time. The biology of this velvety Hollywood union. Google it. Wikipedia perhaps?
I did. And I was horrified. Cross-matching the she-pig’s needs with the
he-frog’s capacity to deliver. It’s a disaster. A nightmare. No wonder Miss
Piggy seems to be upset so frequently. And how the relationship has lasted,
I’ll never know. This unequal union. How long can it possibly continue?
Perhaps that’s why
single ladies, like my colleague, still hold a candle for Kermit the Frog. She
knows he’s really still up for grabs. She craves fifty shades of green. And now
my task is clear. She has to know the truth. She must be set straight about the
frog and his “limitations”.
Next week, I think
we’ll need to talk...
Love is Love.
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